One of the most mind-bending experiences of my training as a family therapist was embracing what is called a not-knowing stance. That said, on any given day, one of our clients may be unhappy with us, and it’s important that we differentiate between their dissatisfaction and the quality of our work. Or at least I’m not sure how else to explain my survival in this field and Red Squirrel’s ongoing growth. I feel like my definition of “doing a good job” is working for me and a sufficient number of clients.
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The best consultants tend to have more satisfied clients over the long term, or they gradually find themselves struggling to find clients! I’ve spent 12 years of my tech career working at and leading various software consultancies, and my current business relies on our clients recommending us to their peers. To be clear, there is obviously some correlation between my clients’ level of (dis)satisfaction and how I do my job.
Just because your client is unhappy doesn’t mean you’re doing a bad job. This experience drove a more succinct point home for me: With this foundation, I was able to navigate a consistently challenging client without feeling like I was constantly failing. Through my training, I had developed a fairly strong sense of what “doing a good job” looked like for me. My first engagement at ThoughtWorks was one of countless seasons of my career in technology that I was thankful for my training and education in family therapy. In short, he was quite intimidating, and perpetually disappointed. “He doesn’t suffer fools,” was a common description of this person’s style of interacting. While the project was technically overwhelming for someone as inexperienced as I was, the fundamental challenge was dealing with the personality of our primary stakeholder. My first client at ThoughtWorks was incredibly challenging. I had a few years of experience as a programmer, I had discovered some of the incredible work of Jerry Weinberg, and had just taken on my first consulting role as an employee at ThoughtWorks.
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You are not in control of their behavior you are only in control of your own behavior.”īy 2004, I had switched careers, and had taught myself how to develop software. You can do your best work with a client and they can still struggle to make progress. “You have to have your own definition of doing your best work. What she said next has stuck with me for the last 25 years.
My response was simple: I couldn’t see much progress happening in my clients’ lives. My supervisor asked me what was leading me toward this negative opinion of my work. After a month or two of working with my clients, I expressed concern that I wasn’t doing my job well. This was, naturally, heavily supervised via video recordings and weekly meetings with my supervisor.
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A significant part of my graduate school experience was an internship (aka, a practicum) where I practiced counseling children or adolescents and their families. In 1997, I was a graduate student, working my way into a career in family therapy.
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